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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23305351">Fingers Like Saturn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister'>GretchenSinister</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rise of the Guardians (2012)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Human, Marriage Proposal, Other, for now...</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:29:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,707</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23305351</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of a kinkmeme fill today, I have some unrelated blacksand for you! Well, specifically it is for @marypsue, who mentioned digging the idea of humans becoming eldritch/cosmic beings, and so I gave that a shot, here.</p><p>Summary: Pitch needs to ask Sandy a question. Things are weird but they’re also super fluffy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Pitch Black/Sanderson Mansnoozie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Blacksand Short Fics</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fingers Like Saturn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryPSue/gifts">MaryPSue</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted on Tumblr on 5/16/2016.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>           “Sandy,” Koz said, “I want to ask you something, and I want to have the chance to explain why I’m asking it, even if it seems like…not the right time.”</p><p>           Sandy nodded, even as their hand moved immediately to start tugging on one of their tight golden curls. There were only a few things Koz could ask that could really upset them, and if Koz was being so careful about it, then things would probably still end up all right.</p><p>           “Okay.” Koz looked down at his mug of coffee. The small amount of cream he had added to it was still swirling through it like a spiral galaxy. He didn’t know if it was taking the cream too long to blend in or not. He had never paid attention before, and now, he thought that if he started, he still wouldn’t end up knowing what was normal. “Okay.” He took a deep breath and looked up at Sandy. They watched him with concern and a little wariness, and Koz grimaced to think that the expression on their sweet, soft face would probably grow even warier of him after he asked his question, and that was without even considering what else he might have to tell them. But he couldn’t not ask it. He had been thinking it over for weeks, and had realized that nothing could feel so right as what a yes answer would bring, and he had to know if Sandy felt the same way.</p><p>           And, to be honest, it wasn’t like his question was that unusual, even though he was pretty sure his reasons for asking were.</p><p>           “Sandy,” he began, then stopped. He had to look down at the table again. He couldn’t look into their beautiful brown eyes while he said this. It was too…He had never let himself be this vulnerable, that was the thing. Even if he’d already given Sandy enough, told Sandy enough, to destroy him if they wanted to. He trusted that Sandy wouldn’t, though he was terrified that Sandy had given him the same ability and same trust in return. “Sandy,” he began again, “since you moved here, I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. It’s been amazing, being able to see you so often. To know I can call you, and more often than not a few minutes later we’ll be in each other’s presence. I love being able to go places with you. I love being able to stay in with you. I love being your datemate, your partner, and…I know you were excited about moving here too, and I hope I’m not wrong about you being happy, too. And that it was sensible for you to get your own place. And now…oh, god, I’ve just got to go through to the end now, don’t I? And now I want to know if you’d like to live together. And I said I’d explain why. Well, I don’t have any practical reasons. I know it’s probably too soon to ask. And I could back up and just say that, that I love you and why not. But it’s not just that and I want you to know, even if you’re probably going to think I sound delusional.”</p><p>           “I want to hear,” Sandy said gently. Their hand, warm and delicate, reached out to touch his bony wrist and Koz’s heart pounded with hope.</p><p>           He still couldn’t look at them, though. “All right, then. Sometimes…when I’m with you, I feel like I’m on the edge of understanding the secrets of the universe. That with another kiss, the next time I opened my eyes I could see how it all worked, top to bottom, and that it would be amazing, not just terrifying, because you would be there, too. You’d be right there with me, looking into the fabric of things. And though we’d see it differently…it would still be something for both of us to play with and explore. Sometimes, when I’m with you, I feel like I could understand everything that’s dark and fearful in the world, that I could see how it fits into everything else, how it’s all going to work out, and that I would never need to be afraid of myself or anything within me again. I feel like I’m starting to really understand what it means that we’re made of stardust, what it means when scientists talk about paired particles. And all this is crazy, isn’t it, because I’m not saying all this as metaphors for ‘I love you.’ I mean it all literally.” He swore softly. “I probably need help that I shouldn’t ask you to give.”</p><p>           “I don’t think that,” Sandy said, and Koz raised his head with a jerk. Sandy was giving Koz one of their glowingly beautiful smiles. Koz relaxed, just a little. Sandy let their eyes sweep over him, all the endless sharp angles of his form, such a contrast to them. A wonderful contrast. Just right. So right. Too right? “And I want to say, yes, I will live with you. I don’t need a practical reason. I love you. But I want to say some other things, too. Because I understand what you’re talking about, every word of it.” They were the one to look down at their tea, now. “I’ve felt the same things, about finally seeing the way everything works, about being able to swim in it—play in it. What I feel doesn’t seem like it has anything to do with the dark things of this world, but it does have to do with…it’s hard for me to put into words, and I don’t think it’s my usual troubles tripping me up, here. I feel like I’ll be able to see how imagination, or mind, or creativity, or just thoughts…dreams, maybe…how they shape the world, and I’ll be able to shape the world, too, and it will be wonderful, I’ll be so free…and you’ll be there, to balance me.”</p><p>           They look up and find Koz’s grey eyes. “I’ve been feeling like that since we first met in person. That we’re two parts of some kind of huge, huge balance. And, to be honest, that’s why I moved to this city. Because you’re here, and in a way I don’t fully understand, and one hundred percent seriously, I think we’re soulmates, for lack of a better word.” Sandy sticks their free hand into their hair, not taking their other hand away from Koz’s, because against all logic, he still hasn’t pulled away. “I feel like I’ve been looking for you forever, and there’s this deep, well, relief I feel, that we’re lovers. Instead of what? I don’t know. You could have asked me to move in with you as you were helping me move into the apartment I have now. I would have said yes, then. You—you could have asked me to marry you. You can still ask me that, now. I’ll say yes. I can ask you! But maybe you won’t say yes, I know it’s not normal, not usual, but it doesn’t feel like we’re meant to ever be apart, so why not, and…”</p><p>           Koz’s long, thin face is gorgeous when he smiles, though there’s still some worry in his eyes. “But if we don’t need to be normal? I—Sandy, there’s something else. Not just feelings. And it’s even stranger, but if you want me to be yours you should know and—okay. I don’t know how to build up to this. One night, after you left, I was getting ready for bed. I was just, just brushing my teeth, and thinking about you, and I glanced up in the mirror and I saw a shadow, instead of myself. It stood where I stood, and…I didn’t even realize anything was different until I thought that I might as well stop brushing my teeth because I could make better ones if I wanted—it seemed like such a sensible thought.” He exhaled in a rush and shook his head. “I put my toothbrush down and looked in the mirror again. I remembered thinking I looked different, but like, better than usual? I had…a lot…of arms, though. And then it all went away and I was just myself again but I wasn’t freaked out, not yet. It all seemed like something funny to tell you later. I had a panic attack about it the next morning, though.”</p><p>           “I remember you calling during that,” Sandy said. “You said you’d had a hallucination, but you wouldn’t tell me what it was, and for some reason it seemed to me like you were lying, though I didn’t know why.”</p><p>           “Why didn’t you press me about it?” Koz asked.</p><p>           Sandy gave him a lopsided grin. “Because I was realizing that my funny story about the evening before might not be so funny. It’s hard to explain how you’ve gotten through three chapters of a book reading by the glow of your own skin when you know that doesn’t happen? I had really read the words, though, and the lights were definitely off. Except for me, I guess.”</p><p>           Koz felt his face heat. “Um. I don’t know how I should react, but the idea of you glowing makes perfect sense to me and is also, well…extremely sexy. I…” He laughed. “What on earth can it mean that I think all this is real, and that it makes me so happy that you haven’t told me I couldn’t have seen myself as a shadow creature?”</p><p>           “Maybe it means that I’m curious about those arms you saw yourself having,” Sandy said, trailing their fingers down Koz’s hand. “And that I’m equally glad you didn’t deny that I saw myself glowing.”</p><p>           “What <em>are</em> we?” Koz asked.</p><p>           “I don’t know, but I’m really glad that we’re whatever we are with each other,” Sandy said. “But also…fiancés?”</p><p>           “Well, I…yes, yes, yes I think that’s the best answer we can have today,” Koz said. He almost wondered why he himself didn’t glow as they left the coffee shop a few minutes later, laughing and holding hands and off to make their fingers like Saturn.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tags and Comments from Tumblr:</p><p>#if this is in the eventual OT8 humans becoming eldritch AU these two goobers take the news the best</p><p>tejoxys reblogged this from marypsue: #I have. a lot of feelings. and not a lot of words. but this is so sweet#today engagement tomorrow Reality Jell-O shots</p><p>marypsue reblogged this from gretchensinister: #aaaaaaaaaa yes this was exactly what I wanted#i love these two and how affectionate they are and how honest with each other#i love your descriptions of how the eldritch...ness affects them#i love love love it thank you#this is so lyrical</p><p>bowlingforgerbils said: I love the last line. This was sweet.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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